What? A Guy Can't Just Visit His Uncle?

Seiji walked through the doors of the Fifth Division headquarters while raising his hand to his mouth to yawn. His tired-looking gaze lazily rolled over the people there as he walked forward like he obviously belonged there. His arrival had garnered many looks. Some curious, some eager for a fight, others openly hostile. In his hand he held a large, un-opened bottle of sake which never once touched the sheath holding his Zanpakuto even though he held them practically next to each other.

"Uncle Okaaaami... I brought booze..." Seiji lazily drawled, scanning the area for the person he'd come to see. Was it disrespectful not to use his title in front of all his subordinates? Maybe. Did Seiji give a flying fuck? Nope. In his endless quest to avoid doing any work, the black-haired Shinigami had arrived here today to get drunk with one of his favorite people. Now all he had to do was find him...

The grunts of the Fifth that watched Seiji enter warily were a bit high-strung, and a couple of them were wearing temporary eyepatches for some reason. As Seiji wandered around, he would likely hear someone calling out for their Captain, and walk in on a strange site. There was a barricade in front of the Fifth Division Captain's office, and a guy holding a large stack of paperwork was calling in, asking if their Captain was okay. The only response he got was a muffled chant. "Fourteen...Fourteen...Fourteen..."

Finally, the man's curiosity led him to despair. As he went to look through a crack in the stack of random furniture, the sheath of a Zanpakuto shot out and nailed him in the eye, forcing him to drop the paperwork and runn off cursing. All the while, a similar chant was coming from the office. "Fifteen...Fifteen...Fifteen..."

Seiji's lips cracked into a small smile as he watched the man got his eye poked out. Classic Okami moment, honestly. Seiji slowly walked forward, the bottle of booze quietly sloshing about in it's glass container as he approached the barricade. Looking up at the wall and doing a quick mental calculation, Seiji sighed before leaping over the barricade in a way that was simultaneously beautifully acrobatic and effortlessly lazy in appearance at the same time. Mid-air, Seiji swapped the bottle of alcohol to his left hand to more easily draw his blade lest the Captain try any silly shenanigans.

"Uncle Okami, I wanna hang out," Seiji said while shaking the bottle a little, showing it was still full. "I brought an offering of booze."

The sight Seiji would find was, in all honesty, pretty funny in the grand scheme of things, but for those such as these two, it was hell. Okami's office floor was covered in paperwork that seemed to be backlogged at first glance, until one remembered that Okami usually stays on top of his work if only so as not to worry about it during his designated nap times. The forms were all dated to within three or four days of each other, meaning that something had happened, and Okami was the one stuck with dealing with it.

Okami's sheathed Zanpakuto was held in one hand, the end having been used on at least fifteen hapless intruders, and an almost-empty bottle of Korean bokbunjaju, a black raspberry wine, was in his other hand. This would immediately alert Seiji to the Captain's current condition. He preferred his sweeter alcohol when he needed a bit of comfort, or even perhaps in a romantic setting. Considering their environment, and the two present, it was a safe guess to say that he was probably stressed out of his gourd because of the absolute madness surrounding him. Silver eyes bleary and focusing on his adopted nephew, Okami clutched his Zanpakuto menacingly before looking at the bottle in the young man's hand, and back to him. Sighing in relief, the Gotei's infamous Attack Dog killed off the rest of his bottle, and chuckled up at him from his position on the floor. "You're just in time, kid. The liquor cabinet is too far away. I was afraid I'd have to use the stash I keep in the desk. Sit wherever you like. The paper's nice and comfy. I'd, uhh, suggest you try catching up, though."

The fact that the liquor cabinet, positioned in the corner, and the aformentioned desk stash were roughly the same distance from their current position was irrelevant. The effort required to go over to the surprisingly well-organized cabinet and try to find another bottle of whatever he fancied was currently beyond him, although he may be forced to do so in a few minutes anyway.

He and Seiji tended to drink like fish, and when they did they had bad ideas, ones that cause damage to the rest of the Fifth. Half the monthly budget went to repairs in the Gotei's sole dedicated combat division, and a solid quarter of that damage was solely due to the two misfits' drinking ventures. Last time they'd gotten this drunk they figured out that spraying Axe Body Spray onto a Hado #4: Byakurai resulted in a hilarious fountain of blazing plasma, and burned down the barracks with their ill-gotten knowledge.

That...may or may not have been last month's biggest expense.

It also may or may not have been two weeks prior.

"Oh right, I had something to give you..." Seiji looked around before plopping his ass down on some papers on the floor, thoughtfully sitting near the liquor cabinet for convenience's sake. Reaching into his sleeve, Seiji pulled out a letter with a sleepy expression before using his connection to the wind to gently fly it over in front of Okami. "Message from the higher-ups, by the way. I've been appointed as your vice-captain... Ugh." Running a hand through his dark hair and expertly tousling his hair into excellent messiness. "Well, it's you. Being appointed as a vice-captain could've been worse..."

Seiji then looked around at the absolute madness while opening the bottle of sake and bringing it to his lips. His lazy gaze seemed to take in the room as he tilted his head back and began to gulp down booze. "So," Seiji began after finishing off half the bottle for a warm-up. "What's the deal here, Uncle? Watching you gouge people's eyes out is funny as hell, but uh..." Seiji swept a hand out, motioning to the state of the area. "This."

Okami's eyes visibly focused on the paperwork that was sent his direction, catching it in a surprisingly-deft manner for someone as drunk as he was. Looking it over quickly, he laughed as Seiji commented on how things could have been worse. "Yeah, you could have gotten a Captain that would make you do more than the bare minimum in the office."

Groaning at the reminder of the absolute chaos that was his office, the Shiba male motioned for his 'nephew' to grab him something out of the cabinet, trusting the kid to find something that'd be fitting. Once he'd gotten his new drink and taken a swig, he'd answer with a long-suffering sigh. "Apparently having a Lieutenant go AWOL is the Fifth's cue for absolutely everything to go wrong at once. That stack over there is applications for a new Lieutenant, which were all denied. I just can't get them out of the room at the moment. The stuff you're sitting on is damages from the last bender a few Seated Officers went on, and what we need to pay to help with reconstruction. The crap behind me is sexual harassment charges. Those guys aren't going to be doing much of anything until they learn their lessons, apologize, and fucking mean it."

Despite appearances, Okami ran a fairly well-behaved Division, and didn't tolerate certain behavior - namely that which put civilians at risk. Sexual misconduct wasn't tolerated at all, and he'd crack down on that shit before it spread. Soul King help someone who actually raped anyone. In the Fifth's rules, that was considered worse than murder. You'd be lucky to survive the punishment, and if you did you'd never see the outside of a jail cell again.

Having known Okami as long as he had, Seiji was already rummaging through the cabinet before Okami was even halfway through the fetch motion. After a bit of consideration, he decided on a single-malt Japanese whiskey they'd picked up on one of their incognito booze tours they took in Gigai every now and again when they could actually spare the time (well, when Okami could). Listening to his uncle describe the different piles, Seiji then nodded and began to slowly sort them into neat stacks. The Lieutenant applications he set to the side, since he was now filling that position. The damages charges he sorted in order of cost, from greatest to least then set aside in a neat stack. As for the sexual harassment charges...

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Seiji's eyes narrowed slightly as he read one of the reports. Which, for anyone else, is the equivalent of going red in the face. Having a sister made you a bit more sensitive to these sorts of issues. Granted, anyone that tried to feel up Kat's butt was likely to lose a hand. Or their Life. Or both. Order wasn't important. "Want me to take care of it? I could talk to them for you..." Though Seiji bounced around the different divisions from time ot time, he had always been an honorary member of the Fifth. It was well-known amongst the Gotei that he and Okami were close, and tended to get into hijinks. However, members of the Fifth knew a less common fact: Seiji was also Okami's Zanjutsu protégé, and had been studying the blade under him (and his uncle's insane teaching methods) for a very long time, even going to develop his own completely unique sword style. The Academy was for nerds and squares. Seiji was neither of those things.

Taking a deep swig of the whiskey with a satisfied sigh, the Captain cracked an eye open at Seiji's words, glancing down at the report in question before snorting in contempt and shifting slightly. "Go ahead. It'd be good to establish the fact that you actually have an official position now, and it'll be good practice for everyone involved. If you need to release Shikai, it's Reaction Speed Training for the next week."

Seiji would know what Reaction Speed Training was, as he'd been through it a few times. They went out past the Rukongai, and Okami spent a set amount of time hunting his nephew down and attacking at random. Seiji's job was to survive with nothing but his sword and the clothes on his back, and nowhere was safe. It was admittedly easier than the training that Okami was developing to ensure Seiji achieved Bankai, but then again that was going to be a whole other level than he'd ever put Seiji through.

Taking another swig, Okami leaned towards Seiji, a playful look in his eyes. "So, you get up to anything fun recently?"

The corner of Seiji's lip twitched ever-so-slightly at the mention of reaction speed training. Images flashed through his mind of his early years training under Okami. Mostly him running and screaming. Good times, those. At the Captain's question, Seiji covered his mouth and let out a lazy yawn before sifting through some scattered papers he'd missed and scanning them with his eyes. "Oh, yeah. I forgot to tell you I reached Bankai." Seiji mentioned it nonchalantly, as if it was a matter of course. Most people would drop their jaws to the floor at the way he treated the milestone, but he was Seiji goddamn Mazi. He hadn't (more like "didn't", Okami's training philosophy was that training never truly ends) gone through hell and back several times over to be some sussy baka with only a Shikai.

Moving over to Okami with a few spare forms and his bottle of alcohol tipped way back as he took a few deep swigs, Seiji stood next to his mentor/honorary uncle/boss. "I found these scattered throughout the other papers. Do you know what they're for?"

Okami's eyes widened then narrowed at Seiji's declaration, and when he offered a few papers that were scattered around the Shiba Clan Head snatched them away, glanced them over, and started grumbling. He pulled a fountain pen out of...somewhere, and started scratching something out at the top before renaming the stack of notes with a malicious chuckle. "THIS, my dear nephew, was an idea for your Bankai training. Of course, given that you've already achieved it, I'll have to go back over it and modify anything that needs it. Once you're ready for the next step, come to me. Of course...I'm not exactly there yet myself. It's tricky, and I have a feeling that there's something I'm missing. I'm so close I can taste it!"

The next step beyond Bankai was true mastery of a Zanpakuto's abilities, something informally known as Toukai. There were only a handful in the Gotei's history that had achieved it, and it was considered a rumor among the Shinigami, given that most of them would never achieve Bankai. Taking a swig of his whiskey, the Captain's eyes made an attempt to focus on Seiji once more. "Sho, how the fuck dids ya manage it?"

Ohhh yeah, he was slurring his words. This was gonna be fun.

The corner of Seiji's lips twitched upwards into a smile for a moment. Even the though Okami's idea of training was utterly hellish, it was heartwarming in it's own weird sort of way to know that his uncle had planned this for him. It was his way of showing he cared - by pushing Seiji to constantly break his own limits. He could feel the liquor start hittin' by now, swaying a little on his feet before slowly sat down on the floor in the lotus position, gripping his knees a little to keep his torso steady. "Well, uhhhh.... I mean it's like, y'know... I was vibin' right?" Seiji slowly spoke, trying to keep his words sort of coherent, though the slur was creeping into his voice anyway. "Jus' chattin' with Midorikage and uh, I'unno. It just sorta... happened. We're both chill peeps, yeah? Neither o' uscould really be bothered.... Yeah."

Okami nodded in understanding. Although he figured that it was probably the laziest way he'd ever heard of someone achieving Bankai, it definitely made sense when it came to Seiji and his Zanpakuto. Taking another long pull from his drink, the Fifth Division's residenty death threat on legs gave a look to his Lieutenant. "Pffft...Don't lets gravity win. That means ya lose, and ifs ya lose then you gets extra training!"

In this case, extra training would just be more drinks, which will happen anyway. Part of Okami's mind wondered whether or not anything dumb would happen this time around, while the rest of his brain was currently doing it's best to forcefully reboot itself with liquor. "Been a while since we talked like thisss. Sho, there a girl in your life yet?"

Seiji let out a groan but he knew his uncle well enough to know that, even drunk, that was far from an idle threat. With a grunt, the Vice-Captain slowly stood and walked over to the cabinet, pouring himself another drink and taking a slow, thoughtful sip that appeared to be full of deep contemplation. In reality, it was just Seiji taking the time to enjoy the booze. He wasn't one to rush things, always going at his own pace and enjoying the moment whenever possible... Which often got him labeled as lazy. Granted, that was also true, but it was nicer to dress it up in such a way, no?

"A girl? No way... Ugh... Women are too much hassle." Seiji paused after speaking, his lips curling into a small frown as he muttered, "Damn, that sounds like something Ika would say..." Eager to shift the topic, Seiji continued the train of thought while turning to face his uncle again. "Whu 'bout you, Uncle? Mr. Attack Dog gotten pet lately?"

Okami snorted at Seiji's words, especially the diss aimed at the kid's father. Doku had kept an eye on him ever since his mother died, and had become a surrogate father/uncle. That, of course, meant that he had grown up with Ika as an adoptive brother. The man was...infamous in their youth for never staying with the same woman. Now, when Seiji mentioned something about Okami?

That was amusing.

Waving one hand in the air, the man finished off his bottle before responding. "Maaan, I fuckin' wissh. 'M pretty shure that Sa..Si...Seishin iss the only one screwin' me, and thass politicss, not sex. Hell, found sum shit out 'bout her recently. Not pretty."

At that, he blurred into Shunpo, coming out of it with a hand on the wall next to the cabinet as he dug around for more sweet booze. Popping the cork, he took a swig and shook his head. "She needs a talkin' to, def..defin...for sure!"

"Seishin?! Th' fuck you manage that...? Wait... Who'zat again?" Seiji narrowed his eyes thoughtfully as he attempted to consider what Okami was saying through the haze of alcohol in his mind. But then he realized that he had no idea who Seishin was. Or if he did, he couldn't remember due to being rather drunk. Seiji followed Okami's lead, zipping over to the liquor cabinet and awkwardly fumbling around for a bottle of his own. Seiji unscrewed the cap, swaying a little before tilting it back and gulping down some of that delicious, delicious booze and letting out a loud burp at the end of it.

"S... Seishin. Do I know who tha' ish, or uh... Huh. Whozzat?" Since his appointment under someone he actually respected, Seiji had been trying to feel out more of the internal politics that may or may not matter to his new position. He wasn't sure. He was drunk, however. "...We should, like... Go hit the bars. Wha' time is it?"

Blinking at his new Lieutenant, Okami tried to muster the words he needed to express just how much of a pain in the ass the Fifth's biggest political opponent was, but he lost it and took another swig with a shrug. At the suggestion of going to a bar, the Shiba looked up into the air, thinking carefully about the answer to that question. "...3PM? If we leaves now...Shit...AH! We could makes it to the club down in, uh, the Sheiretei's shopping disstrict in time for a private box!"

The club in question was a rather fancy gentlemen's club put in, having been modelled after the high-class strip clubs in the World of the Living. Amazingly enough, the members of the nobility really liked the place, but that just meant that the clientele tended to be snobby. Thus, Seiji would know exactly what that means.

Prime chaos inbound.

Seiji's lips curled into a wide, shit-eating grin at Okami's suggestion as his eyes widened. Oh yeah, he knew exactly what that meant. Swaying a bit, Seiji stumbled over to the liquor cabinet and pulled out a bottle of vodka. Looking his uncle square in the eye as best he could, Seiji unscrewed the cap and raised the bottle up and tilted his head with his eyes closed before turning the bottle upside down. He aimed for his open mouth, though most of it got on his face and hair. Swallowing, he slicked his vodka-sodden hair back and grinned, now absolutely reeking of booze. "I'mma go fer th' low-class look. Fuck those snooty looserzzz!" Seiji was ready for chaotic drunken antics. He was always ready to show those fuckers a thing or two about having a good time.